Prompt/Inspiration: D.E.B.S. (2004)
Characters: Ianto Jones, Jack Harkness, Gwen Cooper, Owen Harper, Rhys Williams, Toshiko Sato, Yvonne Hartman, John Hart, Lisa Hallett
Summary: There is a secret test hidden within university entrance exams. This test doesn’t measure a student’s aptitude at reading, writing, and arithmetic; it measures their innate ability to lie, cheat, fight, and kill. Those with high scores are recruited into the world's top secret paramilitary academies, with only the best being chosen for Torchwood. Some call them scoundrels and seductresses; some call them spies, the naive call them innocent. They call themselves T.I.E.S.
A/N: Sorry this is a little late. Real life and stroppy internet connections thwarted my posting attempts.
Alpha Squad House
Later that evening
“You stay here,” Jack ordered parking the car and killing the engine as he snuck across the street to Alpha Squad House.
“This is going to end in tears,” Owen called after him.
Jack shook his head and used his wrist-strap to scan the house for Ianto. Once he had located his target, he made a hole in the force-field around the house with his sonic blaster before closing it behind him and pulling out a pair of suction gloves to climb up the side of the house and into Ianto’s window.
Once inside, Jack saw that Ianto had kicked off the duvet in his sleep, putting his body on display. He was so busy admiring Ianto's long legs, his tight black boxers, and the grey t-shirt that rucked up to show an impressive set of ab, he didn't notice Ianto staring back at him. Before jack could say anything, Ianto pushed himself off the bed flipping over Jack and trading a few karate moves, leaving both of them panting for breath.
“What are you doing here?” he asked as they both sized each other up.
“I wanted to see you,” Jack answered.
“What for?” Ianto asked confused.
“Um,” Jack stalled inwardly cursing himself for being so out of practice. “I was thinking about your thesis,” he finally said hoping it would buy him some time. “I mean why not get information from the source rather than some old Intel? Come out with me," he offered. "You can ask me anything.”
Ianto was about to say yes, when he saw the picture of him and Tosh on the dresser and realised how disappointed they would be. “I can’t,” he answered, picking up the crossbow Suzie had given him last Christmas.
Jack kicked the crossbow from his hands and picked it up. “Well, now you have to,” he said with a smirk as Ianto put his hands up in surrender.
Ianto begrudgingly threw on some jeans and a pair of trainers, before the two of them made their way down the stairs, careful not to wake the rest of the house. They made it outside and were almost up the walk when a twig snapped behind them.
“Ow!” said a familiar voice as Jack fired off a bolt to pin Tosh to the oak tree in the front yard. “I don’t know who that is,” Tosh complained. “But they just fired a hole in my favourite sweater and they are gonna pay!” she said slipping her arms free to stomp towards where Jack stood in the shadows.
“You were saying?” he asked as he stepped into the light. A quick scream from Tosh and a few minutes later and they were in the car with Owen and Tosh in the back seat and Ianto beside Jack in the front as he drove off into the night.
“Where are you taking us?” Ianto demanded as they drove at a breakneck pace through the backstreets of London.
Jack just smirked and turned into an abandoned tube tunnel, finally driving through a dead end that was actually a digitally generated screen emerging on the other side amidst what could only be described as an alien spaceport.
“What is this place?” Tosh asked in wonder as they parked alongside several strange looking spacecraft beside a rundown warehouse.
“The Junk Pit,” Owen answered her, wondering what his boss was playing at.
“You coming?” asked Jack, but Ianto just ignored him and stared out the window. “Suit yourself,” said with a shrug as he exited the car. “Oh! It might be best to stay in the car,” he added pausing at the open door. “These tunnels go for miles, and some of the traders in this area aren’t above kidnapping if the price is right,” he added with a smirk before turning away.
Owen followed suit, winking back at Tosh before closing the door behind them.
Silence filled the car until finally Tosh broke it.
“I have to pee,” she whispered as Ianto turned to glare at her. “Well I do,” she added with a shrug before opening the car door.
“Couldn’t leave you out here alone,” Ianto grumbled as he fell into step beside her a few seconds later.
The two of them made their way inside the Junk Pit, surprised to find it like any other bar, only with aliens of all shapes and sizes dancing to music, socializing, and playing pool. Tosh made a bee-line for the loo, and Ianto made to follow, but found Jack blocking his way. He took Ianto by the hand, snagged a few pints, and nodded to Owen who moved to follow Tosh while Jack drug Ianto over to a nearby booth full of nasty looking aliens. As soon as they realised who was standing at the edge of their table, they made a hasty retreat.
“So, how long have you been in Torchwood?” Jack asked trying to break the ice as they sat down.
“Look, I don’t know what you are trying to accomplish here,” Ianto started only to have Jack burst into laughter.
“Would you lighten up?” he said as Ianto scowled. “I know there are a million questions you are just dying to ask me, and this is the perfect opportunity, so fire away.” When Ianto hesitated, Jack decided to take pity on him and help him out. “Tell me about this thesis,” he prompted.
“Well,” Ianto started, launching into how Jack had become a criminal and his theory about how the psychological trauma of losing his family had turned him into a ruthless criminal and left him incapable of loving or being loved.
“See, that is so not true,” Jack protested. “I am willing to love the right person, I just haven’t found them yet,” he said taking a swig of his pint. “What do you know about it anyway?” he asked defensively.
“Nothing, it’s just a theory, sorry,” Ianto apologised. “Especially about relationships,” he said shaking his head. “I mean I just broke up with my girlfriend five hours ago.”
“Why did you break up?” Jack asked surprised.
“I don’t know,” Ianto said with a shrug. “It just wasn’t enough.”
“Go on,” Jack said intrigued.
“I just,” Ianto sighed. “I think that when it happens it should be irresistible, unavoidable; you should be unable to stop yourself from falling,” he paused. “I guess I just wanted…well more.” Ianto paused and looked over at Jack who was searching his face as if looking for something. “Sorry, I’m babbling.”
“Not at all,” he answered with a soft smile.
“This is so weird,” Ianto observed a bit unnerved. “I mean, why aren’t you killing me?”
“Not into that,” Jack answered taking another sip of his drink.
“But those agents in Antarctica,” Ianto protested.
“They died of frostbite,” Jack explained. “Never met them.”
“And the Deltarian liaisons from U.N.I.T.?” Ianto pressed.
“You are so not who I thought you were,” Ianto admitted.
Jack smiled. “I think that’s a good thing, don’t you?”
The two shared a grin before nervously looking away from each other.
“Sooo,” Ianto asked, taking a sip of his pint. “What’s up with you and Hart-less?”
“Oh my gods, he was such a head case,” Jack answered shaking his head.
“Where do you even meet someone like that?” Ianto asked as the two of them laughed.
As Jack and Ianto started to relax and get to know each other, Tosh and Owen were busy shooting pool, and between the two of them running up a pretty impressive pile of winnings.
During a lull between games Tosh happened to glance over to where Jack and Ianto were talking and leaning increasingly closer together.
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but your friend appears to be hitting on my friend,” she observed as she chalked her cue stick for the next game.
“You’re not wrong,” Owen replied smiling to himself that Jack appeared to finally be getting somewhere on the relationship front, even it was with someone from Torchwood.
“Not that it really matters, but I don’t think Ianto is really into that,” Tosh answered with a frown.
“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Owen answered as the two of them leaned closer. Tosh’s eyes went wide as she watched her best friend about to kiss a master criminal.
“I’m so glad I met you,” Ianto whispered biting his lip. The two of them had been laughing and having a great time and despite the fact that he was breaking pretty much every Torchwood statute in existence, he found himself irresistibly drawn to man before him.
“Me too,” Jack replied staring at his mouth.
The two of them leaned forward and were about to kiss when Tosh gasped beside them.
“He was about to kiss you!” she said as Ianto jumped away from Jack. “And you were about to let him!” she added in surprise. “I mean since when do you like men?”
Ianto blushed and stood up. “It’s time to go,” he stated before pushing his way through the crowd and back to the car.
Jack groaned and glared at Tosh before jumping up to follow him.
“You owe me fifty quid,” Owen quipped as Tosh stood gaping at what she had seen.
At Ianto’s insistence, Jack dropped them off a few blocks from Alpha Squad House. Despite Jack’s protests, Ianto stood firm and told him that they could never see each other again, and that all of them needed to forget tonight ever happened.
Jack didn’t look happy but finally let the Tosh and Ianto go.
As soon as they were out of earshot, Tosh began to question her best friend, trying to make sense of the evening.
“You are so into him!” she exclaimed, still unable to believe it.
“I am not,” Ianto hissed back. “Keep your voice down.”
“I mean he is cute and all, but you violated so many rules,” she continued shaking her head. “You are so busted.”
“No, I’m not,” Ianto growled back. “We violated the rules. Torchwood section 5 article 12: Agents shall not consort with a known enemy under penalty of treason.”
“I was not consorting!” Tosh protested. “I only exchanged email addresses.”
“Do you really think that will matter to Yvonne?” Ianto asked raising an eyebrow.
“Are you blackmailing me?” she demanded.
“Just making sure you understand that I am not the only one who could be in trouble for this,” he explained. “Not a word, this never happened, agreed.”
Tosh glared back at him a moment before finally throwing her hands up in the air in exasperation.
“Thanks,” Ianto said with a sigh before straightening his shoulders and opening the front gate. “Now let’s get back inside before anything else happens.”
They had almost made it to the front door when Suzie emerged from the shadows behind a porch column.
“And just what have you two been up to?” she demanded arms crossed.
“I was upset so I took a walk,” Ianto tried to explain. “About….Lisa.”
“Oh right; Lisa,” Suzie answered as the tension left her frame. “How are you holding up?”
“I’ll manage,” Ianto answered as Tosh tried no to roll her eyes.
“You know I can’t stop thinking about Diamond Jack,” Suzie said as she slipped her gun into the waistband of her pajamas. “I can’t help thinking that he’s just messing with us. You guys be careful, okay?” she warned them.
Ianto and Tosh just nodded and wished her goodnight as Suzie went back inside.
“That was close,” Tosh breathed after she went inside. “You know this can’t happen again right?” she whispered as she pulled the bolt from the tree to reclaim her sweater.
“Yep,” he answered despondently, as he glanced back down the street at a pair of taillights fading into the distance. Tosh bit her lip, worried for her friend, and trying to push back the sinking feeling that this was definitely not the last they had seen of Diamond Jack.